There are all kinds of advice out there about dating today, but a lot of it is about dating in the world rather than Christian dating. Christians need to have a different attitude toward dating. However, even among Christians, there are differences as to whether you should or should not date. Non-Christians have a different perspective on dating. Yet God has more in store for you than just jumping from one relationship to another.
Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Is it just a kind of lust? Is there truly a connection or is the relationship outpacing what you know about them or they know about you? For those who think that Christian dating rules should eschew all social media as a means of authentic connection, think again.
That is certainly not what is being prescribed here. The truth is, more exclusive platforms with a superior vetting and matching system can bring together Christian singles from all corners of the country in a soulmate meeting that might otherwise have never happened.
As many mediums as there are, God works through them all. However, one must also acknowledge the perils of technology and social media in particular.
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So all good Christian dating advice has to consider what kinds of interactions technology is being used support. It can be easy to like, comment and tweet at a whole range of singles at once and so it exacerbates a less pure form of how singles are approaching each other today.
However, if there is a real and stated sense of the fact that a man is pursuing a woman with the intent of a desire to establish a relationship and, furthermore, wants to make the commitment public knowledge, then that is a more than acceptable use of the social media medium.
One of the best pieces of Christian dating advice is something that not only Christian singles can benefit from: even non-denominational singles who are looking for commitment-minded partners would do well to remember that the basis for any truly whole-hearted relationship is often friendship.
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This is friendship that starts off between a man and a woman as a shared collection of interests, invitations to community and fellowship events or through discipleships. Even when meeting online, once you move to a local context, compatibility can only grow deeper. The only thing to remember is this: it is great to pursue women in this spirit of friendship, a man should do so with an eye to cementing it into something defined and committed.
Invite your Christian brothers into the boundaries and standards you have set in your relationship so that they can encourage you and keep you accountable. Think about your partner and what will arouse her. I saw one dating couple interacting before going into a social event. The . Here are ten great questions to use with your Christian accountability partner. If you can meet together once a week and work through these questions, I know God will help give you the victory you need. These are just suggested questions. You and your friend should use these to start a list of questions that are specific to your own needs. There are all kinds of advice out there about dating today, but a lot of it is about dating in the world rather than Christian dating. Christians need to have a different attitude toward dating. However, even among Christians, there are differences as to whether you should or should not date.
In the Song of Solomon, the desire to be physically close and intimate is inevitable and even beautiful. Here, Christian singles can turn to Scripture, once again, for an idea of how to navigate through modern dating.
Staying sexually pure during dating is common sense for those who hold a high regard of godliness. In the Song of Solomonthe couple removes themselves from all temptation by keeping themselves out of the situation to begin with. Instead of remaining indoors or in seclusion, the couple is outside, and visible to the public. In most books on the issue, authors usually turn the question around. This is sound advice and certainly helpful, but we want to suggest an alternative focus.
Take a look at the following verses:. As infants, as children and as adults, physical contact is the primary way we show care, protection, affirmation, encouragement and love for each other. Where, after all, would sports be in America without the ubiquitous slap on the rear? This is the love language of athletic coaches. But I better keep writing and make my point before you stop reading and think you just got the green light to pat your girlfriend on the tush. Ponder a moment the different ways physical contact expressed care to you when you were growing up.
Here are a few of my ponderings:.
When I was discouraged after a miserable athletic performance, my father would often put his arm around me. Walking through a dangerous area at night, I would feel his protecting hand on my shoulder. When I was real young, my dad and I would wrestle. I imagine tears are now beginning to form in the corners of your eyes. My point is that touching was inseparable from my experience of affection. When we think of a physical standard for dating, it might be helpful to consider how we related to a brother or sister within our family: expressing affection without it ever being sexual in nature never aimed at causing sexual arousal.
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However, the goal of such contact should be to express affection without causing sexual arousal. God designed sex and sexual arousal to be amazing and enjoyed with only one other person in the context of marriage. Sex is designed to be the pinnacle of intimacy and connection with our spouse.
Your degree of physical contact should be appropriate for your level of relationship. Arms that constantly surround your partner show protection and a degree of ownership of one another. Physical contact is meant to express affection, not to sexually arouse either you or your partner. You have to be honest about your motives.
This counsel is especially helpful when it comes to sexual purity.
You must communicate your thoughts and standards to each other. When you rubbed her elbow, it began to sexually excite her, who knew? Talk about stuff, have a heart-to-heart as the relationship forms. Think about your partner. Additionally, think about the locations and times you should avoid spending together. For example, spending time alone in your room late at night with the door shut is probably not the best idea.
Invite your Christian brothers into the boundaries and standards you have set in your relationship so that they can encourage you and keep you accountable. Think about your partner and what will arouse her.
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I saw one dating couple interacting before going into a social event. Both are responsible for keeping standards, and the stricter of the standards becomes your standard. Your conscience, energized by the Holy Spirit, is a precious gift and guide and protection to you. Remember the law of diminishing return. Arousal, like lust, always needs more to stimulate it.
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Set your standards high, for what expressed your feelings of affection yesterday may seem as bland as toothpaste tomorrow. We found this major common denominator for those who have seen victory: a clear, memorable decision or resolution to fight - to make no compromise nor to allow even a hint of sexual immorality.
But you will continue to sin.
So, what should you do when you sin? What is Christianity?
Jan 18, A brief tour of Christian blogs and bookstores will provide several different answers to the question, attempting to compose lines and boundaries somewhere on the sexual continuum behind which singles must stay. Some don't even draw lines beyond sexual intercourse, inviting singles to think it through and let their consciences guide them. Our best bet for a healthy Godly dating relationship is to seek the Lord for wisdom and guidance so here are seven things, based on the Word of God, that healthy couples do. No matter how long you Author: Lindsey Vansparrentak.
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Signs For Female Christian Singles Their Boyfriend is a Keeper His Connection to God. He has a rich, growing spiritual life that spurs you to go deeper with God. This doesn't mean God is Speaking to Your Spirit about Him. God is speaking to you and you sense confirmation in your spirit. Do you. Christian Dating For Free, CDFF, is the largest and best free Christian dating site for Christian singles in the world. Our service features both iOS and Android free dating apps as well as a desktop and mobile website. Unlike paid sites, it is free to communicate with every single Christian member you see on CDFF. Today's role for a Christian woman takes many forms working together - mom, sister, wife, home maker, career women, and more. All of these relationships demand your time and attention. At bullbreedadvisoryservice.com we want to help you grow in healthy relationships whether you're single and dating, newlyweds, married or .
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