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I hope you will step outside your comfort zone. You never know where you might find love. Beth Bauer is an author, freelance writer and entrepreneur working as an expat in India, and is soon going rogue. Follow her adventures at www. Though i am not in India now. I think many of the points are true. Especially guys presuming foreign women would expect sex on first date. It is unfortunate you got to meet the weird variety of men from my country. The problem is, particularly in cities like Delhi, it is rare to find someone who is serious.
Trust me on this, I find it hard to understand Delhi girls despite being from here though I have lived outside of my native place most of my life. Too bad you had such a terrible experience. Well written guidelines, but in India, parents irrespective of having a son or a daughter, do worry about their kids even when adults.
There was some hypocrisy in the previous generations about the girl not getting to take care of her parents in cases where the daughter was the only child of parentsmany young Indian men of this generation are becoming more and more open to care for their in-laws after seeing their own parents struggle.
Having the presence of elders at home from either or both sides is seen as a matter of respect, especially when you have young kids at home.
They often teach things to kids which help them mature and become more stable than working couples leaving their kids alone due to hectic careers, thus leaving them vulnerable to false peer pressures and wrong habits. Toss in how the Kardashians dress and some from different cultures get mixed - on in their minds, clear - signals, and just go for it.
Being polite, not being offended by their misunderstanding and dissolving any confusion by stating your intentions can definitely help set things straight. Interesting tips! But a bit of compromise is good in any relationship I guess. Nice Post! Very funny. I agree with the stereotypes and it is super conservative in Udaipur, where I live so it is good to be cautious. I am in a relationship with a non-India.
I have an Indian friend and he is one of the nicest guys on the planet. He knows he has no shot as he is also friends with my partner, but when I returned from a visit to the States, he brought me flowers. So sweet. He has also escorted another friend of ours all the way to Delhi by train with no expectations of getting lucky. I think he is a rare bird on the planet, not just in India.
I agree with Beth, be safe, know some of the cultural differences and if you want to date in India, have fun!
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Nice to see your take on it Betsy. The only issues I ever dealt with is when I used to do massage people would ask me on dates after? So weird. It was just so inappropriate and happened a lot. I nearly died when I read the part about the marriage proposal via voicemail! Never experienced this myself although when I started dating my Malayali boyfriend I remember being a bit flabbergasted at how quickly he wanted to put a label on our relationship.
Thanks for writing this post, I think if more white women knew what to except and understood Indian culture better they might give more of these guys a chance.
Who knows? They might even find the love of their lives :. I agree to a lot of things that you say here. Your experiences are also pretty interesting especially about the guy who assumed sex on first date seeing some sitcoms which is a very clueless 90s thing to do.
I agree that that Indian men need a bit more maturity when it comes to dating as the concept of romance is still culturally a bit different from an Indian point of view and there are biases.
Comments and thoughts on it are definitely helpful for women traveling and dating in India. It is well written and I believe the people you have met are of mentality you have described. But it is not true for general males of India. Most of us know basics of dates and do not follow the trends of TV shows like Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives you have mentioned. Most of the foreigner in Goa, Kasol, Rishikesh meet guys who are either drivers, hotel managers, yoga teachers or agents or friends of them who are not well educated to understand feelings of a girl and basics of a relationship.
I would propose to get along with teenagers of your age like college students, corporate guy because most of these youngsters are known to the facts like Dressing modestly, pulling out a three pack of condoms on the first date.
Yes, I do agree that most of boys in India do live with their parents before marriage and usually their wife also get along in the same house. But it is because India does not have the fashion of separate house completely. But It is now changing since most of them are working in Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai and they buy their own house with the same logic. I have so many best friends in Goa who are Indian men.
It would be false to hide the other side of what happens here. Instead of being annoyed that other Indian men do this and worrying it makes you look bad, realize that this IS happening, and people are traveling India dealing with this and try to do positive things to balance this out or help stop these things when you see them happening. It makes me feel ashamed, but this is really a problem.
Indian men to then to think that foreign caucasian girls are easy of course not everyone is like that. There are a lot of factors to that.
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Cultural difference, media, porn, etc. There would be many cultural differences that both the parties will need to get used to and understand. Not many Indian guys will date any girl for like years before getting married. The concept of dating is not that prevalent over here. So expect a marriage proposal sometime within 6 months to a year, if the guy is serious about you and sees a future together with you.
I just cant believe miss jones, to be in goa you left your nursing career? I Feel really ashamed as an Indian to read such a shameless act committed by my own countryman. Anyway, hope that no one else encounter such incidents in the future. You talk like a saint.
I know lots of things about USA and how they treat girls. Can I show you? Indian men and women are attractive enough and we should be that to each other. As a nation that is continuously insulted by western countries and similar states as a nation of poverty-stricken savages or an ugly group of people who want their white women, the least we can do is grow some self-respect, marry our own kind and work towards developing our own state with heads held high.
I can relateI have some friends who are crazy about these stuffs so they just ignores Black or Brown girls over Whites,which I presume is Racism. I have some Foreign friends so I know how much is it to live in India as a Foreignerthere are some morons with their annoying behaviour and you may have already seen this across Social medias,how they are crazy about getting them but there are also nice people.
Found this article because my boyfriend lives in the US is Indian, and his family is all still in India. He is preparing to let them know I American exist, and I was just looking into what to expect. The story that a man took out 3 condoms in parking lot appears fake and over exaggerated for the following reasons. Of course it appears funny and is useful in forcing people to read further. He parked the car at a restaurant and not outside a hotel so why would he show condoms suddenly.
It is almost impossible to have sex in parking lot of any Indian restaurant. This idea has been picked directly from Hollywood movies 3.
As an Indian man binge watching American shows and even my friends have been watching American shows from a long time but desperate housewives or Sex in the city are not quite popular among Indian men. So that mention also points out to the some fakeness.
Before starting the story it is good to sort out the facts right. Foreign readers who are the intended audience might believe coz they are not aware. Your first thought is to assume the woman telling this story is a liar and exaggerator interesting!
Wow, some very interesting anti - India propaganda there, as usual! I am Indianlive now in Kolkatabut was born and brought up in Berlin, Germany. Berlin is an international city, and I have seen GermanBritishAmerican women all do their thing, living it up.
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I am also aware of how often white women become victims of date-rape and gang-rapecourtesy their oh-so-civilised white boyfriends. And then ,suddenlywhen you all come to India, you all become virtuous, decentself-respecting ladies! Who do you think you are fooling? NO ONE. And I have also been to the United Arab Emirates, where I have seen white women tourists get into cars with complete strangers- rich sheiks by the way, in order to sell sex for money.
Where was their sense of self-respect then? Who likes hypocrites? We ,the intelligent, widely travelled population of India have called your bluff long ago. If any Indian men are reading this, my advice to you is- avoid white women like the plague. No wonder thousands of Americans who want to have a decent family come to south-east Asia to find brides!
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They have had enough of your double standards too. A tbousand apoplogies for the vile garbage in the above comment that was made in my name by an arsehole who was using my computer! Delete this piece of trash immediately-you are so right about Indians. I am very sorry for the hurt caused by this extreme racist bullshit this motherfucker spewed out from MY computer.
Delete it immediately!
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Once again, extremely sorry for the hurt this caused. My comment below will tell you how I really feel about your topic. I was shocked when I came back to India to see how western women are treated. Never about girlfriends or whether they are married or not. This immediately signals disinterest in matters of romance or sex.
See the reaction.
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If he becomes uncomfortable, you know what he really wants. Women in the west have placed such an emphasis on equality that sometimes they lose their softer, more feminine side in the process. When all is said and done, men still like to be the boss in a relationship but bear in mind that it might become necessary to get permission to date that girl. There are some definite pros and cons to dating an Indian girl and one of the pros is certainly not in the fact that the family needs to grant permission for you to date the daughter.
Altogether too many times when dating an Indian for the first time, that first date becomes the last date. We touched on the difference between the sexes, but there is more to the story than simple male dominance.
The most famous Russian-Indian couple: Svyatoslav Roerich (the son of artist Nicholas Roerich) and Indian actress Devika Rani (who played the role of Kasturi in "Achhut Kanya") married in Indian men to then to think that foreign caucasian girls are easy (of course not everyone is like that). There are a lot of factors to that. Cultural difference, media, porn, etc. Girls need to maintain a level of caution when dating Indian men, but also don't shun them as Indian guys can be the nicest persons you would ever meet. Russian is a slang for white on Indian streets. There are some from middle east or nearby Europe who might be interested. I must warn you, a good looking white girl in India is not roaming around for no reason, a lot of times you will be in a situation worse than hell. 7K views.
If you look around you, you will rarely see an Indian man married to an American woman. You might see the reverse, but not as often as we would like to think. Indian men think nothing of having sex before marriage but would be reluctant to marry a woman who is not a virgin. As a matter of fact, even if that woman lost her virginity to him it would still be highly frowned upon to marry her.
It is their custom to marry virgins chosen for them by their families. Did you know that most Indians are vegetarians? Should you be dating an Indian be cognizant of the fact that they do not eat beef at all, any time, for any reason. Some will eat fish, seafood and maybe occasionally chicken, but those are few and far between. In fact if you really want to impress her, ask her what she would like! That will be a first for sure.
And ladies, if you are out with an Indian man, you can probably expect him to do the ordering. It is always difficult to date someone who comes from such a different background but almost impossible to understand someone with a culture as divergent as would be the Indian culture. This is not meant to discourage you from dating someone from India; it just serves as a guide to dating an Indian.
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The most important thing to remember is not to expect the date to go like a date with a fellow American. As a matter of fact, it is never a good idea to project anything on a first date, whether it is with an Indian or the boy next door. If you can understand that there will be some significant cultural differences then you can decide whether or not you want to give it a shot before you even go out. If you decide to try it, keep an open mind.
Last ated on January 7, This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. All these apply towards dating an Indian man, but specifically to Indian men dating other Indians.
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If an Indian man asks out a non-Indian, it would be safe to assume that they take a cosmopolitan view on dating and are probably part of whatever culture encourages it. Basically, if they are the sort that would actually subscribe to these comments above, you wouldn't even BE on a date with them. Basically, this article serves as a blanket statement describing Indian culture which would be irrelevant in the context of dating an actual Indian, and just serves to enforce stereotypes against modern Indians.
Colleen, have you ever even dated an Indian? I think you should avoid generalizing about cultures and need to cite some sources for your stereotypes. Is this current with India today? I'm seeing an Indian man and nothing that's written in this article fits him. He is very considerate, he loves meat, he thinks having sex before marriage is ok and he wants to marry someone, because he loves her.
He's something special.